On Madness

Apr. 5th, 2023 02:30 pm
sdi: Oil painting of the Heliconian Muse whispering inspiration to Hesiod. (Default)

Later in life, Diogenes grew tired of the stubborn Athenians and decided to find someplace where his wisdom would be better-heeded; but the ship he was sailing on was set upon by pirates, and he was captured and sold into slavery. The slave-trader asked Diogenes what he was good at. "I govern men. In fact, see that man there," he pointed, "sell me to him. He's looking for a master, rather than a slave." The man's name was Xeniades, and as it turned out, he was indeed looking for a teacher for his children. The children started taking after Diogenes's coarse manner, but even so, Xeniades was fond of him, since his children grew to be of outstanding character. Diogenes must have been satisfied, too, since when some of his disciples learned of his whereabouts and attempted to ransom him, he told them, "I cannot be ransomed, since I am no slave: after all, it is the lot of a slave to be in constant fear, but I have no fear of Xeniades; rather, he is afraid of me!"

Xeniades bragged of Diogenes to his friends, and one of these—a wealthy money-changer—had a slave named Monimus. Monimus was constantly overhearing Xeniades speaking of Diogenes, and became fascinated and determined to learn from the man himself. But this was impossible as a household slave, so he pretended to be insane until his master finally discarded him. Monimus immediately went to study under Diogenes, and in time under Diogenes' pupil, Crates.

One day, the former master saw Monimus following Crates around—both sane, of course, but homeless and living lives of utter simplicity—and he said to himself, "Oh dear, he's even crazier than I thought!"

sdi: Oil painting of the Heliconian Muse whispering inspiration to Hesiod. (Default)

One day, Diogenes was sitting at a favored haunt and Alexander the Great, then in Corinth and aware of the exploits of the notorious Cynic, came to offer his respects. Standing before Diogenes and casting a shadow over him, Alexander said, "I am Alexander, the great king."

Diogenes looked up and replied, "I am Diogenes, the dog."

"Why are you a dog?"

"Because I fawn upon those who give me anything, and bark at those who give me nothing."

Desiring the former, or perhaps wishing to put Diogenes to the test, Alexander said, "Very well, then. Ask any favor of me you please, and it shall be given."

"I ask, O great king, that you move out of my sun."

Surprised, Alexander stepped aside so that his shadow fell elsewhere. He regarded the indigent man before him. "You don't fear me?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Are you a good king or an evil tyrant?"

"A good king, of course."

"Why would anyone fear what is good?"

Alexander laughed. Turning to his retinue, he said, "If I were not Alexander, I should be Diogenes."

Diogenes replied, "And if I were not Diogenes, I should be Alexander."

Indeed, it seems the lives of these two great men were linked in some strange way, as it is said that they died on the same day, though some fifteen hundred miles apart.

On Logic

Apr. 4th, 2023 08:58 pm
sdi: Oil painting of the Heliconian Muse whispering inspiration to Hesiod. (Default)

Lysimachus was having a party and had invited several of his philosopher friends to dine with him, including Theodorus the Atheist, Crates the Cynic, and his wife Hipparchia. Now, Ancient Athens was a patriachal society where women were expected to stay at home and tend their domestic tasks: for Hipparchia to aspire to philosophy was crass, and to accompany her husband on a social outing was scandalous. So Theodorus, not wishing to dine with a woman, criticised her as they sat to dinner, saying, "Shouldn't you be busy at your loom?"

Hipparchia replied, "Do you think I have made a made a poor trade in exchanging my weaving for philosophy?"

Theodorus, himself a philosopher, couldn't reply in the negative, and was embarrassed at being outwitted by a woman. So as to embarrass her, too, he pulled at her cloak, exposing her.

But Hipparchia showed no shame and apparently changed the subject. "Now, now, we're all philosophers here: such pettiness is beneath us. Let us spend our time in something more becoming, like logic. For example, consider this syllogism: the law applies equally to all—what is lawful for one to do is lawful for another to do. So what is lawful for Theodorus to do is lawful for Hipparchia to do. Now, it is certainly lawful for Theodorus to beat Theodorus. Therefore, it must also be lawful for Hipparchia to beat Theodorus." So saying, she socked Theodorus in the mouth.

On Sin

Apr. 4th, 2023 08:55 pm
sdi: Oil painting of the Heliconian Muse whispering inspiration to Hesiod. (Default)

Diogenes was a native of Sinope in Asia Minor, the son of a money-changer. He was a very ambitious young man, and consulted the oracle of Delphi on what he should do to become famous. "Debase the currency," the oracle said. The young man returned home and did so, being swiftly discovered and sent into exile. He ended up in Athens, studied philosophy with Antisthenes, and in time became as notorious for his scandalous wit as Plato was famous for his scholarly wisdom, thus proving the oracle correct.

Years later, a traveler passing through Athens recognized Diogenes from his youth and berated him for his criminal behavior. "You fool," Diogenes replied, "don't you understand that is what made me a philosopher?"

sdi: Oil painting of the Heliconian Muse whispering inspiration to Hesiod. (Default)

I needed a good laugh today. I offer this up in case you do, too.

(Alexander and Diogenes, Edwin Landseer, 1848)

June 2025

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