[Socrates, his devoted student Antisthenes, and friends of theirs are at a drinking party and the hour is getting on. Socrates, who was very ugly, had just finished failing to win a mock bet that he was the most handsome man present. Socrates turns the discussion to Love and, going around the room, notes that everyone present has been stricken by His arrows. Finally, he turns to Antisthenes, who is a bachelor, and says,] "Are you the only person, Antisthenes, who is in love with no one?"
"Certainly not!" he replied, "I am madly in love—with you."
Socrates, pretending to be coquettish, bantered: "Oh, don't pester me just now, can't you see I'm busy?"
"Don't think I can't see right through you!" Antisthenes rejoined, "You're always doing something like this: at one time you refuse to see me because of your 'divine sign,' at another because you're busy lecturing about something or other!"
"Please don't beat me, Antisthenes," implored Socrates, "I'll gladly endure any other punishment from you. But," he went on, "we should keep your love a secret, because you only love me for my body." [Socrates then proceeds to lecture at length about Platonic love.]
(Xenophon, Symposium VIII, as adapted by yours truly)